You Get to be Ok

I want you to know that you get to be okay.

You aren’t broken - you are perfectly primed to experience yourself in your fullest expression.

You’ve got this.

Your body, the triggers, the synchronicities - they are all here to signal you back to yourself over and over again - and they will - even if you aren’t conscious of it yet. You will always be guided back to you.

I want you to know that when it feels like you are spinning, like you are managing every detail and every detail is on fire - I want you to know that peace is one choice away.

I want you to know that when you find yourself yelling at your kids and feeling a rage that scares you - that you are okay.

I want you to know that when it hurts to get out of bed and the heaviness in your heart keeps your head buried in your pillow under your blankets - you will feel your way through this.

I want you to know that each of these: the spinning, the rage, the sadness that won’t let up - they are all guiding you home.

I asked “why did this happen” “why was it so hard” “why does it hurt so much” a lot…for years. I want you to know that now I know the answer - I know why.

Because today - in this post - I can say to you - you will breathe full breaths again, you will feel ease in your body again, you will feel safe again. I know now because I am on the other side of it - I have been in the place where things were so damn hard and heavy and tar-like breath suffocating that I had to pass it over to God because I just couldn’t do it. And then…

I kept on going. I lived. I did the therapy. I did all the stuff - the epsom salt baths, the affirmations, the movement, the yoga, the reading, the abcd…I did it all. AND I STILL FELT STUCK. I still felt alone and wondered if I was ever going to be okay.

“So this is it? I just get to survive and manage and be sorta okay sometimes?”

I want you to know that you get to have more. You get to feel good. You get to love and laugh and create - and it’s not all bullshit and flying unicorn-fairies and rainbow fantasy land - it’s real. (I mean, fairies are real…but that’s another conversation).

The thoughts that run through your head that feel like they take over sometimes, the physical pain that stops you from moving the way you used to? All that - is your body holding it for you until you are ready.

You are getting ready. You are paying more attention now. You are noticing the whispers because now they are loud.

Your body is your partner - it was designed perfectly for the fullest expression of you. It was designed to hold and release - and it will release - it will let go and so will you.

You will know.

You will choose when you are ready.

And you will be safe and you can be guided back to yourself if you don’t know what the next step is. I promise.

There is another side to this. I’ve done it. I can show you the trailheads - I can guide you to the signs that will lead you to what’s next.

I know that right now it feels impossible - and I know you can do it.

When you are ready you get to rest. You get to settle into you.

You get to be okay.

Promise.

Elle